Are you willing to take a proactive communication?
This morning, I am sitting at a table with a family of three: one 11–13 years old elder sister, one 6–8 years old younger brother and a mother who is approximately 35–40 years old.
Sister: ‘Shut up,’ she says with a helpless tone and pitch, ‘you hurt me and make me very angry and don’t touch my toys anymore.’
Mother: (she is playing with her mobile game and doesn’t get involved directly). ‘Let him play, he is your younger brother!’
Sister: (sobbing because she feels helpless), ‘You have just asked me to let him do anything, yet you never consider my needs or feelings. It’s his fault and you are unfair to me. You just favour him because he is a boy and you do not love girls as much.
Mother: (just takes a momentarily glance, before continuing to play her game on her mobile phone).
‘Yes! I’m your mother, so I do what I like,’ she replies in a very rude tone while staring with ignorance in her eyes.
After that conversation, a sister is silent, but her body language displays her annoyance and during the whole meal she abstains from talking to her brother and mother. Moreover, her mother doesn’t interact with her too.
Such a short verbal encounter of less than 5 minutes conversation can reflect a lot. Hence parenting with lack of communications skills can be a traumatic experience. Technology makes the world closer, but at the same time, it affects our interactive techniques.
According to Professor Albert Mehrabian’s 7–38–55 Rule of personal communication: the communication itself includes the spoken words (7%), voice intonation (38%) and body language (55%), but if we can combine observation the other person’s communication with active listening, we can build a better relationship with others.
The third person cannot judge, but the scenario can be completely changed if the mother is aware of her daughter’s body languages and communication styles. She can take the priority to talk and listen to her daughter’s point of view and then be sympathetic and comfort her.
Everyone wants to be loved and to love. What is more important to you? Social media platforms? an electronic game? or true relationship with your family and friends?
Are you willing to take a proactive step? Enlarge your ear to listen to others with your heart, patience and willingness. The net result could surprise you, as it could improve your relationship bank and avoid future arguments, pains and misunderstandings.
